An Apology...

Ok...it was a week ago that I was supposed to post the second half of this point...what a week! I am issuing this apology for my obvious lie. I will give you more of the post today and, in the future make an effort to post when I say I will!

Ok...so we left Eli in the bed and Samuel wondering what was going on! Samuel had heard the voice call to him and he immediately got up and went to Eli for instruction or direction. Eli told him that he had not called and to go lie down. Samuel obeyed. But let's not miss what happens next!

5. Samuel was back in the bed and again, the voice of the Lord called to him and, what does Samuel do? Does he say "this is getting ridiculous" or go to Eli and say "what now? I already came in here once" - no! No haughtiness or anger, no frustration or rebellion. Samuel simply gets up and goes back to Eli with expectation and ready to listen. How many of us would do that? Much less our kids...but you see, if we begin early expecting obedience in our children and disciplining disrespect or displays of rebelliousness, then when we call - they will respond appropriately, even if they do not see the point.

I've thought about this point quite a bit because this is probably the hardest part of parenting an older child - you know, that age when they begin thinking that they know more than you do. So, how do we instill in our children the level of obedience and respect that we see in Samuel here? I believe it is done in the heart - not necessarily the actions. You see, inside each of us is a natural/sinful heart - deceitful and desperately wicked according to Jeremiah 17:9. Our heart tells us that we know what is best, that our ways are better than anyone else's and that we deserve to be happy (among other famous lies)...it is your child's heart that is rebellious and arrogant, unteachable and prideful. Now I know most parents would say "my child is not that bad" but, think about it - is that not the heart of the matter when you get this response out of your child? Is it not our heart? We do not like to call sin for what it is in our children - but it is important that we do so! If we never call sin as it is, then why would they ever need a Savior? It is important that we start early with calling sin in our lives and theirs - and then explaining that Jesus can change our hearts if we repent.

So, when your child pipes up with "why did you call me again" or "what's up with this" - or any other disrespectful tone, what do you do? Call it what it is....explain to your child that you hear their frustration and that it comes from a heart that is telling them that they have more sense than you right now - right? But the Bible never tells them to obey because you are smarter or because you will always be right - as a matter of fact, the Bible does not give any "escape clause" that bypasses obedience if you don't think your parents are right. It simply expects obedience because of the role that God has placed your parents in over you. You are to obey their authority - regardless of if you understand why at this moment. That is what God expects of us! We are not owed an explanation of His plans or thoughts...we are to obey. After explaining this to your child and explaining that you have the same rebellious heart that they do- explain that only the Grace of God working in our lives can change our hearts and help us to live holy lives. Only God can control our hearts - we cannot even know our hearts! Then, do not miss this, discipline still occurs! It is not that because the situation has calmed down and everyone is talking that we can ignore the consequences of our sin - discipline still occurs! Actually...this is the way discipline should happen EVERY time! It should never be when you are frustrated or aggravated....

Pointing out rebelliousness in our children and calling it for the sin it is - shocking them by saying out loud what they are thinking in their minds - can be very powerful. Then, rather than doing the "I'm your parent and your going to respect me" routine, we simply explain that it is the rebelliousness of our hearts and that they have to fight against it. Give them a verse to claim such as Romans 12:2 (And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God) and explain that every time they feel this way and think these thoughts...stop, quote this verse and think about how God would want us to respond. How can we please God with our hearts, our attitudes and our behaviors? It is teaching not only the "renewing of our minds", but the application of Scripture, the respect for authority and patience... Wrap things up by explaining that you do not have this all wrapped up yourself...that you struggle with ______ and that God has to work this out of your life as well. Then pray with them and for them. If you were ugly in any part of the way you have handled it, ask them to forgive you.

Stay tuned!