My Child Doesn't Fit!

Ok...before you think that something is wrong...the last part of this equation is that MOST people are mixtures of these personality styles! Most people do have one style that is more prevalent or dominant in their personality than the others, but most are mixtures of these styles. Think of it this way, there is a continuum - like a crossroads.


The horizontal line of the continuum is for socially outgoing people(far left) vs. introverted people (far right). The vertical line of the continuum represents those who are task oriented(far top) vs. those who are people oriented (far bottom). Now, your child (and each of us) fall somewhere in this continuum. If they are Task-Oriented but very outgoing, confident individuals, they will fall in the somewhere in that quadrant we label "D" (top left)but they may be anywhere on that side - it will differ for every person. Task oriented but more introverted - liking smaller groups or individual conversations - they are more in the "C" quadrant (top right). Lower left quadrant (people oriented and outgoing) would be the "I" and the lower right quadrant (people oriented but more introverted) would be the "S" personalities. Again, every person falls somewhere different on this "map" of personalities.

For instance, I am a very task oriented person and love attention to details ("C")(which is why my posts are so long). However, as I have managed businesses and been a preacher's wife and in front of people a lot, I have gotten more comfortable with exerting myself and speaking up in groups, and have developed more of my "D" personality style as well.

My husband is a "D" personality style straight up - however, he is equally as strong in his passion, inspiration and his ability to see "the big picture" and dream big - like an "I"...through his years in the ministry he has shifted from being very task oriented to having a heart and a focus on people...

Do you get the idea? Try to pinpoint a general vacinity for yourself before trying it out on your children! See if you can look at more of why you do what you do - than just what our actions say about us. Your personality style will shift over time given your life circumstances and requirements but remember, our personality style or comfort zone is NEVER an excuse to act unbecomingly or to neglect the needs of others!

More to follow....
Michele Everson
Proud Wife of "D/I" Pastor Chad Everson
and proud mom of "I" and "S" wonderful boys!

And finally, the "C" Personality Style

Ok...we have looked at Determined and Dominant children/students... Inspirational and Imaginative children/students... and even Steady and Sincere children/students... but what about those students who are Conscientious, Calculating, Compulsive at times? Those children who have to do things right and really get upset when they have to use the eraser side of the pencil? Yeah...you know the ones I'm talking about!

The "C" personality is one that is very task oriented and may frequently get "lost" in all that they have to do and not even realize that someone is speaking to them. This child is one who has to understand very clearly what the expectations are, what the parameters of the assignment include and any specific instructions...they will not be satisfied with a quick overview! These individuals make great accountants! They love detail and they are usually always right (they have a fear of being wrong!). They will check out a problem from every angle and think about possible areas of disagreement before ever making a decision to move forward on something...so decisions such as "what do you want for breakfast?" can turn into a 30 minute discussion on the pros/cons of poptarts (and telling them "it's no big deal" boggles their minds because everything is a big deal!)

These students will be motivated by clear goals/expectations, they like a challenge but only in areas that they have some confidence in their abilities, they like sincere appreciation for the things they do well, and they enjoy being given the time to do things well. This is a child who will be stressed when given an assignment on the spur of the moment, with very little instruction and then a time limit of only 10 minutes to get it done! Pop quizzes send them into tail spins...they should have had adequate time to prepare! If you have to confront this child on a mistake, have your facts straight and guns loaded - and then do it one on one and never in front of anyone....they MUST be right - so if you need to correct them, do it with sensitivity. Remind them that the eraser is there because we ALL make mistakes...Sometimes the greatest discoveries come from seeming failures! Great minds take mistakes and turn them into miracles! Remind them that the Bible says that we must be teachable and, although they know a great deal and have some real talents, they are not perfect and must be teacheable. They can benefit most from learning (at a young age), that they do need others!

Michele Everson
Proud wife of Pastor Chad Everson
and Proud Homeschooling Mom of two wonderful boys!